As I write this year-end essay about 2022 and the trends of places to eat, I must admit that I am catching up.
I have obligations and hobbies, so I wasn’t paying attention technically (i. e. rumping a rat) while 12 months of decadent delights, culinary controversies, and avocado abominations went through. (“Does homo sapiens still eat food?What about the fashion of “opposable thumbs”?How long did it last?”)
Okay, I narrowly focused on one facet of food. I spent several months trying to update George Carlin’s “Seven Words You Can’t Say on TV” regime to include the dirty words: “portion control. “
(To clear my head, I put on my casual jeans and rented an extendable limousine for a car ride, but the deceptively named monstrosity extended everywhere. )
However, most of the time it comes down to the fact that I’m an undeniable guy: a “well, only if the snail is on the values menu. “I don’t want to be on the lookout for chef migrations or contradictory sauces. or balsamic game changers.
I can still muster a childish sense of wonder about foods that others have long since tired (“Wow!French fries in a box!What will they think next?No, wait, don’t tell me. My center can’t stand it. “)
This simplicity is a return to my childhood. He spent weeks and months going through menus and brochures for family circle vacations and the exotic cuisine that would entail. Invariably, once we arrived at a restaurant, I would look at my dad and ask, “Can I order a hamburger?
More strength for all the foodies looking for the Next Big Thing, but I think we’ve softened too much. When men were men, you heard other people say stoically, “My arteries are 90% blocked” or “My only kidney is failing. “Now, you can’t throw a rock into a crowd without hitting someone who laments, “My taste buds are underexcited. “
I’m sure I’d be aware of one and both words from a food influencer if I hosted dinners, but that’s not the case. My apron doesn’t say “Kiss the cook”; He said, “Call me and give me a brief description of your food as we enjoy our blessed solitude. “
I see “climate-friendly” food has been a big trend this year. Plant-based vegan diets. Cutting shops of “cheese” and “butchery” without meat or dairy products. (I am wary of foods that are in quotation marks. What’s next?” Fry me a piece of this iambic pentameter, Bubba”?) Sustainable fish and seafood. In the past, the only sustainable component of a smart meal was a lasting burp.
I’ve found that a giant percentage of food trends are exacerbated through TikTok videos. Then. . . a Chinese video hosting that absorbs the user’s knowledge like a bully drinking its soup is the preferred position in the US. U. S. Food and Drug Administration for food advice. I think that’s the way Americans did things.
Thank you for letting me vent. I realize that I would probably have to swallow some of my words in 2023.
But I do put my words on a butterboard first.